I was on the track team in Jr. High (go Mustangs!) and I was a sprinter. I did pretty well in the 100 and 200 meter sprints. I think I may have even won a few. But I remember one time the track coach had me fill in for the 400 meter. I literally couldn't make it. I'm sure I finished, but I think I was well behind the pack. I remember seeing stars and feeling like my lungs were going to explode. I just don't do long distances.
But, over the last couple of months, I've had several things motivate me to try running again:
1. My neurologist told me I need to be exercising every day to reduce the risk of more MS relapses. It's not like this was news to me, but I needed more motivation to kick me into gear. So,
2. I have some friends who are running the Wasatch Back Relay in June. They are amazing! I think what motivated me the most is that there are several girls running the race who have very little running experience. Just like me. I figured if they can do it, so can I. Also,
3. I really need to get in better shape. And,
4. I like the fact that I can set attainable goals and reach them. It is empowering to do something for myself and feel like I'm actually succeeding.
So, about a month and a half ago I found a treadmill in the classifieds. Go, fight, win! So I start running. Well, I guess fast-walking would be more accurate. It took me a couple of weeks to actually feel like I could run more than 1 minute without dying. Honestly, I'm in bad shape. But I kept at it.
So, fast forward to today. I thought that since I've been running for nearly 2 months now, I can bust out a 5k. No problem. I have been running 3-4 mile stretches at home on the treadmill, I can handle it.
I'm sure I screamed "novice" as I arrived at the race. I'd never worn a timing chip before or even knew what to do with it. I was worried that if my pants covered it up it wouldn't work. The guy kinda laughed at me when I asked him if I had to turn it on. So I'm a beginner. I'm OK with that.
I had set a goal in my mind for how fast I wanted to run. It wasn't a very lofty goal, but one I felt I could reach. Baby steps, right? So the race starts and it quickly becomes apparent that the others in the 5k group have run more than one race. My self-esteem starts plummeting when I get passed by a 10-year-old (I'm not kidding), then a gimpy girl (no offense, she was literally hobbling along), then a woman pushing her baby in a jogging stroller. Seriously? All these people are going much faster than me. So my goal has now changed from a set time to "finish the race". I figured I probably wouldn't make my time, so I just wanted to finish...hopefully in front of gimpy or 10-year-old.
As I'm running, I remember how much I don't like running. I don't like huffing and puffing and feeling like I have to spit at every corner. Not fun. I don't like feeling like my lungs are on fire. I don't like freezing to death while I'm running. I don't like running up hills. I don't like running outside. I don't really like running. Remember the love-hate thing?
But I keep running. I'm thinking, "Just keep running, just keep running" in a Dory-like fashion. The depressing part is when I turned around there was no one behind me. NO ONE. Then, even more depressing, the police escort is following right behind me. It's like he's waiting for me to hurry up and run so he can open the road back up. At this point I just want to stop. I keep willing the lady with the jogging stroller to get a flat tire or something so I can at least beat her.
But I keep running, and pretty soon I realize I'm more than half-way done. I'm still in last place, but I'm still running. The course starts heading downhill and now I'm really running. I am so cool. I'm such a good runner. I love running. It's so great. I should do this every day. Woo-hoo! Why didn't I pick up running a long time ago? I was a fool not to realize how great running is. Then the finish line is in sight. Hooray! I made it! Of course no one notices (except for Aaron and the kids) because they have long since finished and are now mingling around waiting for their times to be posted. But I finished. And I actually finished about 12 minutes faster than my goal. I really don't know how that happened, but it did. And, I finished about a minute in front of jogging-stroller lady! Go me.
So in the end, I realize I still don't love running- but I don't hate it either. I think I'll keep at it. I may just run another race next month.
This is me coming into the finish line. Suprisingly, no one else is around. Hmmmm.
5 comments:
ah meg, your post made me teary. i am so proud of you! finishing your first race is a huge milestone! didn't you feel so GOOD? i am amazed at how empowering running can be. you did amazing! i've been passed before by jogger strollers and it's kinda funny.
it took me a good year from starting running to feeling like i could do a 5k.
yeah anyway, way to go! you rock girl! oh and i also tagged you.
Go Megan! You are totally my hero now. I just started running so I know what you mean about that love/hate relationship. I'm so proud of you!!!
Hey! that's fantastic!!! Something I look at doing, but i don't have the gumption to, so kudos to you for taking it on! We are really awed by you!!! I know that sounds weird. We love you!
Steve and Mindy
Uh, where have I been? I didn't know you were running in some sort of race!?! Whoo-hoo to you! Seriously, your story rocked my socks off.
Megan~
I couldn't have said it better. My feelings on running are quite mutual...except I think I have a dislike-hate relationship with it rather than love-hate. I have been telling my aerobic classes for the last 3 years that I plan on running a 5k by the end of the summer. Guess how many times I've done it? ZERO! Yippee for me! Then some couples in our old ward are going to do a half marathon and have invited us to join them. CRAZIES! I'm considering it. But first I better tackle the 5k. Maybe I can run a race with you (by race I don't mean we plan to beat anyone) oh and that Dori thing is the way to go...I have the same tune in my head through most any challenging thing:) Anyway, did I mention I loved the post? Loved the post!
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